Un-Supportive Partner & 10 Week Old Baby?
Ive been with my partner for 4 years and we had a child 10 weeks ago. Since then our relationship? already been? the hill. Is outside all weekend most of the weekend that they leave home alone with the child (the child also has the colic, cos? Crys very bad for the most) when does the stay at home on the weekend that remains on until 4 in the afternoon. Every time? home from work? on its computor so that it is frokm around 5pm until 2am. It should be working while on leave and im on him maternitāte? seems to throw that in my face constantly telling everyone that I do is sit on my ass all day and had to work so you do not need to do so. Is asleep in the living room so the child does not alarm him up to tell its perch? needs because of his sleep? it work. When you get home from work then he has a bathroom for 2 hours then when the child goes to sleep? when I start cleaning and bottling it up. If I ask him to do this so that I can sit for 5 minutes and only moans that far? not to wash them and sterilizzer?. Ive tried to communicate with him but not? a safe and just to be communicated to me does not say that close up in order to communicate them get no where. Ive tried to shout him, ive tried to ask nicely and just tried not to say anything to see if he should, but none of them work. I do not think we understand how hard and tired? care for a child 24 / 7 as much as I love them things would be nice to have some help when I need him. Sometimes I feel like just leave him but love him and really want to try and make things work but I do not know him get through. Council?
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:54 am
Sorry, but you won’t get through to him. He is who he is, is fully aware of what it takes to raise a baby but chooses not to take part in it to the extent you feel he should. I understand you love him, but all the love in the world isn’t going to bring about the change in him you want to happen.
Having a baby is not necessarily motivation for any man to change. He has to want to change. Sounds like he doesn’t want to change. Nothing you can do about that.
December 6th, 2008 at 1:18 am
I don’t know how much of this is just since the baby came. But if he was like this before Did you talk and ask him to help before. Or has he changed? Could he be feeling left out? in my very personal opinion he has no right. but the books say try and make an effort. My advice is stop doing any thing for him. No cookin and cleaning if he can’t share the baby duties then you can’t share the house duties.
December 7th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Wow! Your partner is treated like a king. I have had 3 boys and the newest is 3 months. My wife and I pretty much share all of the responsibility. She works at night so I am the only one one at night. So of course I get up with him. I work during the day and she does everything then. I have read that the best way to deal with a rather selfish partner would be to leave them with the baby for a day. So then they will truly realize how much work it really is. If you don’t think they could even do a day then maybe a few hours. Tell them you need a break. I’m guessing you did everything before and now you have even more to do. My wife and I both need sleep but that doesn’t mean either of us are going to get it. You really should explain yourself to your partner.
December 9th, 2008 at 9:53 am
don’t let him use that he is working instead of you to make you feel guilty and don’t let him use mind games with you. if he doesn’t want to listen to your feelings then give him an ultimatum and do it so he gets the message. right now your hormones are reeling and you say you love him but sometimes a relationship needs more than just love. make a list of the things you want him to do for you to show that he is pulling his weight.
I feel bad for you in this type of situation but you have to stand up for your self and you do deserve a break because you have just had a baby and its not just your baby.